For the people who know me personally and follow my business, you’ll know that I don’t post pictures of my ‘tiny stomach’ or body to show off or skite. In fact, even in my body building days when I had ‘ripped (overrated) abs’ I didn’t post a daily ‘ab check’ and hardly ever posted pictures of my mid-section except for when I was competing in a show and was in a figure bikini. I’ve probably posted more pictures of my tummy now (growing outward instead on inward) being pregnant, I’m FAR more proud of my expanding belly than I ever was about my ripped six pack in figure competing days.
For anyone who’s followed the ol’ journey over the last 5 years will know that I made a shit load of physical, mental and emotional changes to get my body and mind from a very unhealthy state in the bodybuilding/fitness industry world to get it to where it is now. My body has come to rest at a place of stability (without fluctuation or bouts of gaining and losing weight/bodyfat) of what some describe as ‘slim and petite’ (which is what I naturally was before the bodybuilding freight train hit). I feel like my health is thriving and feel great both prior to falling pregnant and now, so it makes my mind boggle that still females like to comment ‘here have some of my belly fat, you need some’, and as a reply to me saying excitedly ‘yes my belly has finally started to grow a bump!’ comes: ‘oh shush up your belly hasn’t even grown, it’s tiny, I weigh more’.
In other words, people are like: *I’m going to take away from your joy of your changing body and now direct this comment towards my dissatisfaction towards my own body by saying that ‘my belly is bigger than yours and I’m not even pregnant’*…… 😑 I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve heard this phrase since becoming pregnant.
What the heck do I even say back to that? It’s awkward asf. Its taken a lot of work but my body is in a safe, healthy and balanced place that has allowed me to grow a baby which i’m happy about, but instead I’m defending my healthy size and trying to convince other females that they’re absolutely not fat. And what’s sad is that the people who are saying it, in my opinion have beautiful bodies.
I’m half way through my pregnancy now, my body is changing and I love it, and whether that is the at the same ‘normal’ rate as other pregnant women, I don’t know – this is the first time I’ve been pregnant so I will try not to compare. But I do know that we are all VERY different and I just wanted to write this post for women who are ‘small’ and perhaps get flack because of this.
Don’t forget ‘small’ women have their own insecurities as well….’is my baby growing as it should be?’ ‘We’re told we gain lots of weight during pregnancy, is it normal that I haven’t?’. Comments of ‘eat a pie’ can be just as hurtful as ‘you need to go on a diet’.
Seriously, this pregnancy game is like a whole new version of the fitness industry 😂 Possibly even worse because you’ve got a tonne of hormones and protective mother angst/emotions thrown in the mix.
Don’t get me wrong, people in my personal and work life are amazingly supportive and kind and I understand when I have occasionally heard these comments that they have not been said in a way to hurt me – this is just a general observation of my own conversations and following other pregnant women’s journeys who have experienced this too that has sparked my interest to write this.
Really at the core of it, this is a friendly reminder to encourage people to work on self love. It’s about the words that come out of our own mouths and our own inner self talk, are you saying something because you are genuinely happy for someone else? Or are you saying it from a place of lack of self love towards yourself? Don’t abuse yourself, talk to yourself a bit more kindly and watch your body respond to that – don’t wait until you think you physically look good to compliment yourself, whatever shape your body is now, talk to it like you love it. You can actually make yourself healthy by simple positive self talk.
Never insult yourself to compliment another, or insult another to try to compliment yourself. Also, on the flip side, if you’re pregnant, being healthy and your body is growing faster than expected, so f$&ken what – you’re growing a human being! This is supposed to be a really enjoyable time in your life, don’t let body hang ups ruin that for you.
There will always be people who look at smaller women and think they don’t eat enough, are being unhealthy, are ‘blessed’ by good genes …. but sometimes, people are just being happy and healthy and living their life. Instead of judging, just support self-love – whatever your body currently looks like, big or small, just say to one and other ‘you look great’, ‘you look happy/healthy’ without the need to comment on whether someone is too large, too tiny, too muscly/not muscly enough, too pregnant, not pregnant enough 😂
After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
Ok, I may or may not post again before Spring time. I guess pregnancy hormones will decide that lol.
With love and happiness, ,