Now that I’ve got your attention by posting an attention grabbing title and a half-naked picture of myself (because let’s face it, that’s how people seem to get noticed these days in the fitness industry), I can explain why this is the end of Fit Bella Women.
Once upon a time I was shy, unconfident, suffered from anxiety, didn’t speak up for what I believed in and constantly had this huge cloud looming over me that I knew I was different and had an ‘authentic self’ but didn’t know how to uncover and connect with it. I never cared for being the most popular/prettiest/coolest person around, all I wanted was to help people and most importantly to know myself – I spent years following what other people said, going along with trends, ending up in a very lost place….but…….
*Cue an Eat Pray Love quote*…….. “Ruin is the road to transformation”.
At the end of this year I will have been running Fit Bella Women for 4 years – I’ve never owned my own business before and it was never on my radar of life things to do either, it literally came out of nowhere one day. I vividly remember sitting in the lounge with my Mum in a real shitty situation, telling her I wanted to start a fitness community for females all about self-love. As the saying goes “When life gives you lemons…..” you bolt and run with those lemons and make lemon meringue pie, because pie tastes good and you’re not dieting anymore, and you go get happy with your new life cause the universe has handed you a pretty sweet get outta jail free pass and free dessert.
I was already working as a personal trainer when I started the business so Fit Bella Women started off more about my PT business and my figure competing side of things, being lean AF and posting about how excited I was about new flavoured Quest bars and having ‘cheat days’. But gradually over those 4 years you may have noticed my change in attitude toward fitness/competing/health/nutrition/wellbeing (the Confessions of Competing E book probably being my biggest ‘ohhh boy’ moment), realising that ‘cheat days’ were dumb AF, and being lean was TOTALLLLLLY overrated (no one likes a -9% body fat hangry person). Basically everything, I began to question. I came to my own conclusions about things and what was best for me and found myself in a place where I’m looking back at my life to date and can see how everything that has happened in my fitness/health/personal life was preparing me for all of the better things to come and delivering that ‘authentic self’ feeling that I had been playing hide and seek with for so long. The whole of our lives is a journey but personally during those 4 years it’s been a bit of a doozy in the personal development area.
From the beginning of 2013 when I started FBW I stayed in Hamilton for a year then bolted, shimmied north to Auckland to live for a year and a half – then jumped ship to Sydney for a year, went travelling Asia/Europe/Pacific’s this year, then ironically ended up right back where I started at home (just need some red slippers and I could pass as Dorothy). I’ve lived overseas before but the year in Sydney was my greatest time of change, some people go to India to stay with a guru to meditate for days and practice yoga in a grand temple………I just moved to Bondi and signed up at Fitness First to do yoga, but whatevs….same effect. :P Nonetheless, it was a big transformation that changed how I feel about myself/my body/my lifestyle, and helped completely change the way I used to think about everything (in a positive way) compared to 4 years ago.
One day at the beginning of this year I was sitting on the beach where I was living at the time in Newport, Sydney and I had this overwhelming feeling come over me that told me that I needed to go home (NZ home). Before I returned to NZ I wanted to do something nice for myself as an act of self love so I booked a 1950’s photo-shoot because I’d always wanted to do one. The special shoot package that was advertised on the photographers page was for a ‘retro housewife’ shoot, which I thought was going to be in a cutesy-50s frock-holding an apple pie in the kitchen kind of a deal, the same as what was pictured on the promotional ad for it that I saw on Facebook. When I got to the studio and was getting my makeup done the photographer asked me “what kind of house wife do you want to be? Do you want to wear a dress or lingerie?”. I was surprised because I didn’t know I could choose what I wore for the package deal I had booked, but nek minnit I found myself squirming into suspender tights and a corset :P As I was wriggling into what seemed like 80 million inch high heels and trying to walk elegantly across the studio (failing miserably), I was thinking to myself how proud I was that I was doing it. It wasn’t about showing off in minimal clothing to everybody and trying to get likes or attention – I was proud because rewind 5 years ago, I had done photo-shoots – but having had fitness industry demons creep in, I would have been stressing if I looked OK/lean enough/muscly enough. I NEVER would have done a photo-shoot without having dieted for 10 weeks prior, or manipulating my water the week before so I looked more ripped in the shoot, or having a fake tan/fake hair/fake nails, or carb loading bla bla all of that bullshit. Looking back now, I honestly can’t believe how mislead I became in regards to my fitness and nutrition – how much I judged my own body, how much I trained for the wrong reasons, how scared I was of food I was. I was proud at that shoot because none of that stuff even crossed my mind (because 9 layers of fake tan, ew). I didn’t even think twice about my abs or dieting for the shoot, I was eating chocolate on the train ride there :P Funnily enough, talking to the photographer she told me that I was actually on the small side for a pin up girl as most of her clients are size 14+! (shoulda taken a bigger block of chocolate on the train :P ). Imagine that, coming from the bodybuilding scene and never being lean enough, to entering another world where I was wasn’t big enough for the clothes! Just goes to show that whatever world you are immersing yourself in, will influence how you perceive yourself….which leads me onto my next point….
I’m going to be giving up all social media for a bit from now on…….well, ok that’s a bit dramatic and not entirely true because I really love Instagram. So let me rephrase that, I’m going to be giving up everything except Instagram for a bit from now on :P I’m not going all ‘social media isn’t real!’ or ‘social media is ruining my life!’ because if you make those claims then what you need to do is take a look at why that’s happening – because no one forces you to follow/look at all the fake people/things you do on Facebook or Insta , nor does anyone force you to spend the amount of time you do on social media. I do think there is a hellava lot of bullshit out there, but I also think social media can be a wonderful tool and it is what you make of it – so choose how you use it wisely. For example, I have 2 instagram accounts and while scrolling through my Fit Bella Women one (post competing and working in the fitness industry) I found myself constantly expressing these facials:
On my personal/other business account I follow artists/illustrators/writers/travelers/nature/photography/mystical thangs/funny cat pictures – all of these things inspire me (maybe not the cat pictures but they do give me a good LOL), and none of them make me think ‘I’m gonna get up at 4am tomorrow and train for 3 hours cause I wanna look like insta famous girl’.
Now I don’t believe there is anything wrong with showing off your body…. but you need to make sure you’re doing it for right the reasons. I think the human body is a beautiful thing and should be celebrated, but I believe with the way the world is today – there is a huuuuge increase in how people are flaunting their bodies in a way that they are using it as a weapon or to gain something as opposed to celebrating it. Always remember that whatever shape your body is or whatever look you have, you don’t need any approval or confirmation from anyone else that you are beautiful – parts of the fitness industry can distort that for us and make us lose sight of what really matters. My hope is that what is currently messed up in the fitness industry will start to make a turn around as people re-discover the real meaning of health and fitness (I say rediscover as people instinctively know that physical appearance isn’t what makes the world go around, but we’ve all been #fitspo’d bitch slapped and lost our way). I urge everyone to work every single day with self-love until you get to the point where you no longer constantly nit-pick at your imperfections, but you celebrate every inch of yourself – because that person is the strongest out of everyone
So anywho, now that I’ve got those lectures off my chest…..why I am choosing to shut up shop for Fit Bella Women is because I feel like I’ve outgrown it as such – I’m a very different person now from who I was when I started the business and want to take some time away to reassess where I want to take it in the future. I see it as another step in the Self Love saga because when you put your heart and soul into something for so long, you have to be sure to take a step away to regroup, reconnect and rediscover yourself at every life chapter. We are constantly changing, and just like we need to do a service on our cars, we need to make time for ourselves to do like service on our soul! I still am very much driven to teach people the same methods of how I got to where I am now in my own health and happiness, but I need some time away to figure out how I’m going to do that in the best way possible.
WHATS NEXT FOR ME
Work wise for me I will be focusing on my other business stacysadler.com in which I do photography/tarot/and also have a shop lined up for the future within a family business, which I’m very passionate about and allows my creative brain to run wild. I’ve also been working as a relief teacher for ages 0-5 for a while since settling back in NZ which I absolutely looooove. For those who have asked, I’m not currently taking on personal training clients, nor do I do nutrition plans but please get in touch as I do know people who are fantastic personal trainers and nutritionists who I can refer you onto.
FINAL ADVICE TO YOU
- Take time to be creative everyday.
- Work out for FUN, without thinking about working on your physical appearance and watch how your world changes.
- LOVE your body
- Encourage others to love their bodies.
- Give yourself a compliment in the morning everyday like you would to a person who you love with all your heart.
- If you’re finding it hard to stay motivated, change what you’re doing. Do quick 20-30 minute work outs – dancing, skipping, jumping on a trampoline, handstand and cartwheel competitions with a friend lol, whatever! Make it short and make it fun!
- The more exercise you do doesn’t equal more weight loss – burning out from overtraining is a dumb move.
- Don’t eat foods that you know make you feel yuck afterwards, if you know if makes you feel gross – its not for you!!
- Eat foods that are organic as much as you can, but on the flip side, don’t stress out if you can’t eat perfectly organic/vegan/raw whatever because you get caught out unprepared. Do your best.
- Know that nothing is good nor bad, it is what it is and your perspective is everything
- Stretch. Work on your flexibility, this is SO important and your body will thank you for it as the years go on.
- If you’ve been stuck in the pattern of distorted eating, losing weight/gaining weight cycle from extreme dieting, stepping away from that scene and giving your body (and mind) time to heal with be the best thing you can ever do for yourself. It will be hard, but it will be SO worth it.
- Don’t be obsessed with calories/fats/carbs/protein, that person is no fun to be around :P
- Eat veges
- Eat cake
- Don’t constantly ask people ‘do I look fat?’ that person is no fun to be around either.
- Know that you are gorgeous whatever weight you are, REALLY BELIEVE THIS.
- Don’t EVER change yourself so that someone else will like you.
- Life is supposed to be fun, don’t stress so much!
- BE YOURSELF and you’ll feel amazing and attract amazing people into your life ALL GOOD THINGS START FROM SELF LOVE.
Fit Bella Women allowed that platform for bringing me the connection with that person (my authentic self) that I had been so desperately searching for, and it also brought me connections with SO many amazing people that have changed my life along the way. I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for coming along on that journey with me, you have no idea what the support I’ve received over the years has meant to me. I’m not too sure when FBW will be back, it might be a few months it might be a few years – we shall see! You can follow me on my personal Instagram @stacysadler, I am still using my personal Facebook messenger for emails if you want to get in touch, or you can email email@example.com to keep in contact.
I’m so glad I’m writing this as a blog because in real life I’m SUPER awkward at good byes because I hate doing it. Ok. Here goes.
Until the day Fit Bella Women returns…..
Peace and so much love xxx
Aw I’m sad! :’) Ok baiii
Love you bye.